From marketing to motherhood.

As a first-time mum there was oh-so-much uncertainty for me around what would be involved in motherhood. There’s lots spoken about the immense love you’ll feel once your baby comes along – and that love truly is like no other. Still, one thing that isn’t spoken of often is that there’s a few fears that couple up alongside the transition to motherhood, even before the baby is placed in your arms without as much as a how-to guide.

I never thought of pregnancy as a scary ordeal, but when you’re in the trenches of it you start to realise that nothing is guaranteed. Whether that be falling pregnant easily in the first place, that sought-after “pregnancy glow”, or the healthy baby at the end of the ride.

I’m forever an optimist so for me this newfound anxiety was a tad on the debilitating side. I had intrusive thoughts but still wanted to keep showing up as I did prior to pregnancy. I wanted to still be ‘me’, whether that be for work, or for my partner, but doing so while pregnant was a little harder than I previously imagined. Work wise I had to sign off around the 34-35 week mark due to health reasons. 

Those close to me know that I have a rare kidney disorder called Gitelman’s Syndrome. I don’t talk about it all that often because I know that everything is relative and everyone has their own stuff going on. Also because modern-day medicine is awesome, so I don’t really have many issues day-to-day (hooray for drugs! haha). 

Because of my condition, I was told early on that if I was lucky enough to fall pregnant that any pregnancy of mine would be a closely monitored affair - and that it definitely was! Cue the medical riff-raff.

I couldn’t remain on my normal medication, as it could potentially harm my unborn baby. So I spent most of my pregnancy with a potassium level below 2.5, which as Dr Google will swiftly tell you, isn’t great for the average Joe. During this time I set the record for the most infusions of potassium (K) bags over 24hrs at the LGH - a weirdly positive event in my mind as I was never great at sport, so I’m happy to set records wherever I can! Haha. 

To add a bit of extra spice to the mix for my high-risk obstetricians, I was also diagnosed with Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy (ICP) at 30 weeks. So, all in all, my pregnancy was a big blur of twice weekly blood tests, hospitalisations, appointments and whinging to my poor partner Damon! But I 100% know it could’ve been far worse.

After 37+5 weeks I was so very lucky to deliver a beautiful healthy little man named Nate to the world. A world I cannot wait to show him. 

His tiny hands in mine and the smell of his sweet newborn skin (if you know, you know) was more than enough to make me forget all about the ups and downs of pregnancy and the impending sleep deprivation!

I always had mixed thoughts around maternity leave. Half of me was excited to spend every waking minute with my beautiful baby, to go on long walks for coffee dates with my other mummy friends, to have the luxury to fully concentrate on being the best mum I could. The other half was scared about abruptly transitioning from being a full-time marketer to a new sleep-deprived stay-at-home mum. 

I know I was (and still am) lucky to have a job I love. I was also grateful for the ability to take leave and focus on being a parent to my little man. But that didn’t come without the uneasy feelings around what the transition meant — and that’s because, like many others, I didn't know who I was without work.

Since I was 16 my identity was somewhat intertwined with my work. First off, working was a means to achieve enough financial independence. The type that would enable a fried chicken dependant teenager to earn enough funds to buy all the KFC one could want!

Then it was working to achieve the other things on my to-do list; to travel around Europe twice, to (alongside my extremely hard-working partner) buy a block of land and build a house, to buy a dog... 

While working to accomplish these things, I spent a few years identifying as one particular thing ‘a marketer’. When people would ask 'What do you do?, I’d take pride in that. It was a creative career, something that spoke to who I was. I loved helping people build their businesses through marketing and it quite quickly formed a large part of how I perceived myself.

Work was a space where I felt somewhat established, I knew what I was doing for the most part, it was predictable and it filled me with a sense of achievement. And as I headed off into an unknown landscape filled with nappies and overpriced zip-suits, I wondered what it would be like when my past world clashed into my new one.

It may be cliche but it is without a doubt true when people say that with children the days are long but the weeks, months and years go quickly! Before I blinked my baby was 6 months old, taking everything in and rolling and babbling away.

My maternity leave is now a distant memory and a bit of a blur, similarly to pregnancy.  

I have mixed emotions when it comes to getting back into the swing of work. Part of me is happy to have some time to speak to adults, to use a part of my brain that laid redundant for a few months! Though I would be lying if I didn’t say that I also wished I could have had more time to just be ‘mum’ before having to do the juggle. 

But you can’t do it all and I’m happy that I can take a bit of financial pressure off of my partner so that we can continue our journey into parenthood as the strong team that we are. I’m also grateful to have a supportive circle of managers and colleagues at work and a great support network at home. All of which makes the transition back to work a bit easier on that part of me that wants to just be with my baby 100% of the time. 

The past year has been one of constant change. From full-time work to full-time mum life, and now to a beautiful life that coincides with a bit of both. 

Whether you’ve yearned to be a mother all of your life or not, when you are thrown into something unknown there will always be a transition period. But the unknown is often where the magic is. And, being a parent is one of the most magical things there is! 

Josie

xx